


Accountability

by poldarked_fangirl



Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5737657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poldarked_fangirl/pseuds/poldarked_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Oneshot after 1x06* After Jim Carter's funeral, Ross tries to apologize to Demelza for his behavior at the Warleggan Ball.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accountability

**Author's Note:**

> My Poldark Tumblr.: http://poldarked-fangirl.tumblr.com/  
> My Poldark YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUn8pa-1wLCP_xwb5Sk-cvQ/videos

                

Blowing out the candles on the nightstand, Ross proceeded to climb into bed beside his wife. For the fifth night since his escapades at Bodmin Jail, she laid with her back to him.

His head still ached from all the brandy he’d consumed since his return, but it did not hurt worse than his heart. He knew he deserved it, after making a fool of both of them at the Warleggan Ball, and ignoring both her feelings and situations as well. He desperately wanted her forgiveness. The silence and coldness between them was driving him mad.

Laying down, he sighed at the protesting throb in his head and closed his eyes. He didn’t sleep… and he knew she wasn’t either. He could tell because her breathing was lighter than it was when she slept. Opening his eyes, he turned his head to the right, and began to speak.

“Demelza?” he called softly; her beautiful name flowing lovingly from his lips.

She sighed, but did not answer. Her heart always fluttered a little when he called her name like that.

“Demelza, I know you’re still angry with me. And rightly so. You have every reason to be. I’ve acted a drunken fool; no better than the very men I strive to keep you and Julia away from… but, my love, I am sorry… truly. I know now that my behavior, though my judgement was at the time clouded, was both unfair and irresponsible.”

Tears formed in her eyes at her husband’s heartfelt apology, but still she did not speak.

“Verity was right,” he continued. “In attending the ball, I should have carried myself as a gentleman of my class. Reminded society of who I am. Of who the Poldarks are. I tried to show myself off as better than they, because I was bitter over Jim’s death… but, instead, I only brought us lower in society’s eye than we’ve ever been before.” Ignoring his headache, he leaned to the side and gently kissed her, affectionately, on the cheek. “I am sorry, Demelza. Good night,” he went back to his side of the bed, settled under the covers, and closed his eyes to sleep.

A moment later, his eyes flew open as he felt her kiss his cheek. He quickly turned his head to see her beautiful eyes staring back at him. With a small smile, he gently raised a hand to caress her cheek as he had done a million times before. “I’m so sorry, Demelza. For everything. How I treated you, how I spoke to you…”

“It’s alright, Ross,” she stopped him when she saw tears forming in his eyes. She knew the stress of the past week was weighing on him. He felt guilty for Jim’s death, though he pretended to blame others. In fact, he’d felt guilty since the sentencing. He felt guilty for his treatment of her over the past few days, and especially at the ball. She had wanted to be sure he was sorry before she rushed into forgiving him, but seeing him like this, she knew he was.

Demelza wrapped her arms around her husband, and he clung to her like a frightened child in the night. All this time he hadn’t known what to do or who to go to. He wanted to be strong, for her and Julia, but he couldn’t anymore, and he finally gave into his grief.

She stroked the back of his hair and neck comfortingly. “I forgive you, Ross. Shh, it’s not yur fault what happened to Jim. No one blames you. Not Zacky, not Jinny, and Jim never did.” She pulled away for a moment to look him in the eyes. “You are not to blame, Ross. You did everything you could for Jim.”

“But he’s dead, Demelza. Jinny’s a widow and Benjamin is fatherless. If I’d only gotten to him sooner—”

“Ross, now you stop that!” she cut him off. “I understand yur upset and yur grievin’… but you can’t go on like this! Jim wouldn’t want it. And what would Jinny say? Comin’ ‘ere tomorrow morning to see ‘er Master and friend in such a state.” She took both hands to his face, making sure he looked at her. “It’s not your fault.”

He sighed. She was right. Then again, she always was. Demelza saw the look in his eye that he always got when he was defeated. She’d won. He understood now that he wasn’t to blame.

He pulled her close, lovingly and warmly. “I love you, Demelza,” he said quietly by her ear.

“I love you too, Ross,” she smiled. Settling back down into the bed, with his arm around her, they went to sleep the same way they did every night. Together.

They both knew it would take some time for Ross, and everyone, to be fully recovered from the death of their friend, but they had taken the first step. In her heart, Demelza thanked the Lord that her husband was getting back to his usual self. She also prayed that nothing would come from what he’d done at the prison.

She didn’t know it, but Ross prayed the same, along with a silent thanksgiving for having his wife by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! This was my very first Poldark fic. I love Poldark/Ross and Demelza, and I hope to write more in the future!!


End file.
